Dear Reader,

These intimate letters talk about the ups and downs of healing; about the courage to become more of the person one actually is and wants to be. Without the short leashes of opinions, beliefs, or truths we hardly ever questioned in such a way before. These letters talk about inspiration and curiosity, about joy and fear, and all those emotions in between. About losing everything and building a new life from scratch. On top of all, finding my very own definition of myself as a woman who happens to fall in love with a woman. Simply that. These letters are about my way in or rather out of a religious organisation that was my family for a lifetime. So, this book is also about identity, loss and gain; about being true to myself and what this means in daily life. It reflects on love, self-worth, achieving goals and letting go. It talks about grief and belonging, about being human in all its facets - naked, beautiful, genuine, and raw. This will be a lifelong edition. It’s about choosing to see beauty. It’s about making this choice every day a bit more often and making mental health a topic that is easy and rewarding to talk about.

P.S. I hope this book will be as much of a journey for you as it was for me. How could it not be? All you need is within you; and I am happy to share the secret identity of the Editor with you. He has many faces, and I cherish each and every one of them.

As humans, we are hardwired to connect with people around us - having someone we love and trust at our side. We need each other. To me, experiencing neglect on a scale of losing everyone I have ever loved, cared for and known, feels like living or rather sustaining life with a weak immune system. In order to not lose focus and to stay healthy, I promised myself to find a therapist that I could talk to once a month while I started the process of leaving my old life behind and beginning something new. It was the first or second time we met when the therapist said: “You should write a book about your life”. I realized I needed much more connection than just one hour a month could provide me with. So, here an idea, a necessity rather, started to grow. The actual phrase “Dear Editor” was inspired by Lori Gottlieb, who wrote the book: “Maybe you should talk to someone” and the weekly column “Dear Therapist”. In her TED talk she pointed out that we have all written a kind of narrative of our lives. The way I understood it, is that sometimes small or big errors have crept in, trying to hold us back from seeing our potential and living a more authentic life. My life changed profoundly after finding someone to help me recognize my blind spots. Getting guidance to find the pathway to the exciting and fascinating person we all actually are. Getting access to the life we want to live, and the kind of love we long to experience.

P.P.S The “Editor” is a synonym for a therapist I shared my reflections with. Well, that is how it started. In hindsight, I realize, the Editor became more like a friend I shared my deepest thoughts with, my doubts, dreams and hopes, my progress, experiences and memories, my joy and laughter. I shared with the Editor everything I learned and worked through - from a good book to a podcast, a TED-talk, webinars, a trauma course, a song, and whatever resource I could find to write a new chapter for my life. I would go so far as to say that the Editor is my safe place and a source within myself, containing all the information I have gathered throughout my life, ready for harvest.

In order to stay human as much as possible, I created a connection at a time where no one else was available to talk to.

Who might be your Editor along your journey?

Dear Reader,

here you find my latest thoughts and moods- raw, unfiltered, honest, real and not possible to hold back. My writing often reflects on us as humans- how we love and cope and hope; it talks about belonging, longing, connection and the power of resources. It dears to look into the whole spectrum of being human and dares to look out for all that makes us beautiful. And last but not least, my writing talks about love. Not only in a romantic way, but also in search of healing and authenticity. And about love affected by trauma. In case you like some answer and in case you are curios to ask yourself some new questions- this is the very spot. In my experience- there lies a lot of movement and healing in the quality of the questions we ask ourselves.